Anniversary Time -- 4 Years

Today, I'm hijacking the Rhew The Nation posts for a very special announcement...It's anniversary time!! Let me just start by saying Happy Anniversary to the most wonderful husband in all the world, Deek Rhew! <3 <3

You may remember we got married twice--once in the Pacific Northwest and once in the South. Well, today, we celebrate 4 years since we got married in the Pacific Northwest (the one that made it legal and all)!

PNW wedding

Southern wedding, six months later.

My Deek and blog friends, let's take a little stroll down memory lane...

Going to the chapel (or Victorian historical home),

 and we're gonna get married!

We seriously laugh all the time...then and now!

I look at my hunk like this then and now.

Deliriously happy...still am!

Hubba! 

He's like a fine wine, better with age! 

(at least that's what they say. I don't know 'cause I don't drink)

Looking toward a bright, happy future!

Spoiler: It's brighter and happier than I could have ever dreamed!

Da bride and da groom!

Four years in, and Deek still calls me his bride. 

<happy sigh>

First anniversary

Second anniversary

Third anniversary 

Yep, that's happy weight, but spoiler...keto cures all. ;)

We're back to our regular weights again, thank goodness!

We haven't done fourth anniversary pics yet, 

but here's one from this weekend.

Let me tell you, these past four years have truly been the most glorious of my life. I loved Deek like crazy when we got married, but I love him even more now. We have fought battles side-by-side, gone on some serious adventures, laughed until our stomachs hurt (which is often), sung at the top of our lungs, danced under the stars, and a million other precious moments that make this bond between us even deeper.

When Deek and I first decided to consider dating, I was a romance cynic. Events in my life had led me to conclude that neither selfless, unconditional love nor soulmates existed. In fact, I told Deek not to bother falling in love with me (isn't that charming?) because I'd been through enough in my life to *know* that good men existed only in books and movies, not in reality. 

Yeah, imagine trying to woo that. But Deek was up for the challenge.

He showed me that good men--wonderful men--exist here in the real world. He melted my frozen heart and turned me into a sappy pile of blubbering romantic goo. I believe, y'all. In love. In soulmates. In forever. In good men. In happy marriages. All of it. He made me a believer!

He's my best friend, my true partner, my rock, my love, and yes...my soulmate. When we started talking about dating, we both sat down and went over our lists of things we could and could not accept in a relationship, and they matched. Perfectly. Like we were made for each other, and I truly believe we were.

I am happier than I had any idea a person could be. Every day, I wake up to Deek's smile, and every night, I go to sleep in his arms. He's my everything; my dream come true. 

It just keeps getting better!

My love, here's to four more, and four more, and four more, and four more... How about forever and always and then some?

Happy Anniversary to my amazing, loving, funny, kind, giving, over-the-top in the best possible way husband! I adore you more than words could ever say, and I'm honored to get to spend my life with you!

#Always

An Alternative to Valentine's Day Take 2

Y'all V-Day (LOL) is rolling up on us soon, and last night, I read my post from last year. If I do say so myself, it's a right good post, so I'm just going to put it up again, in case anyone needs to hear it again.

Deek is THE most amazing husband. Everything I said in this post, he still does this year and then some (he's always coming up with new, creative ways to show he cares). When we got married, he's promised to always date me and never assume he "had" me. And he's a man of his word. I can't even begin to explain to you how incredibly thankful I am to be married to this incredible, incredible man!

I LOVE YOU, DEEK!

An Alternative To Valentine's Day

Hello, friends! So, I'm sure you've been to the stores and seen the Valentine's Day decor and cards lining the shelves. In fact, I think it started the day after Christmas, right? So crazy!

Well, I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day. Please note, I'm a "to each his own" type chick, so no judgement here from people who choose the traditional celebratory methods. You go on with your awesome self. BUT, I personally prefer a different type of celebration, which I'd like to share.

For me, the whole concept of taking a day to celebrate your special person doesn't make sense. Shouldn't you do that every day? Every day, Deek goes out of his way to make me feel special, and I do my best to do the same for him. On any given day, he'll tell me how beautiful I am, bring me a cup of tea "just because," leave me a little love note, bring me my breakfast, and a million other things. And I do the same for him--surprise him at work with a treat, send him texts with love memes, leave notes on his car (back when we had two cars--LOL), tell him how handsome he is and how much I appreciate what he does for our family, greet him at the door when he comes home from work with a big hug and kiss. We don't wait for a special day to do those things. It's about living and loving out loud every single day.

From me to Deek

From Deek to me

And every night, we lie in bed, face-to-face, and talk about everything and nothing. We share our random thoughts, talk about our day, discuss our books, discuss the origins of the word "fork," and a myriad of other entertaining things. But we make the time to connect every day. In the hustle and bustle of life, it's easy to let your significant other get lost in the shuffle, but try not to. This is the person you've committed your life and heart to. Make sure that person knows he/she is a priority above all else.

I love our face-to-face time!

In our house, Valentine's Day will be pretty much like any other day. Deek and I will be together, loving one another and expressing our love. I'll admit we may splurge on a pizza and a Reese's Cup and watch a romantic movie because it's fun, but the core of our encounters will remain the same. I don't see the point in the traditional gifts. Jewelry can only be worn sparingly (I mean, how many occasions does one have that call for diamond earrings?). Stuffed animals fill the house and collect dust. Copious amounts of sweets derails healthy eating habits. Expensive meals are a drain on the budget and a "one and done" thing. And flower, OMG...flowers. They DIE. I can't help but think of a line in Romeo and Juliet when people receive flowers: "O', swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon that monthly changes in her circled orb. Lest that thy love proves likewise variable." Juliet is begging Romeo not to swear his love by the moon because the moon changes, and she doesn't want a changing, or variable, love. Flowers die...what does that say about love? Eep! 

Last year's V-Day goodies at the Rhew house

So, here's an alternative way to think of Valentine's Day. Have you ever heard of The Five Love Languages? If not, give it a read. I had to read it during college for my Relational Communication class, and it's a truly wonderful book. It talks about (obviously) the 5 love languages people have:

Image from The Marriage Podcast

1) Acts of Service-- This person feels loved the most when someone does something for them.

2) Words of Affirmation--This person feels love the most when you say good things/nice things to them and build them up.

3) Quality Time--This person feels love the most when you spent one-on-one time with them, no other distractions.

4) Gifts--This person feels love the most when you give them gifts. Please note, it's NOT about the amount of money with these folks. It's about the fact you knew them enough to know what they'd like and that you took the time to go out of your way to get it/make it for them. (Sorry, ladies, no "My love language is gifts, so I need these humongous diamond earrings!" Doesn't work that way.)

5) Physical Touch--This person feels love the most when you touch them. Please note, it's NOT about sex. (Sorry, guys, no "My love language is physical touch, so we should have sex." Doesn't work that way.)

I'll give you some examples. My best friend's love language is gifts. So, I make sure to give her meaningful things (like a framed pic of us, a book about landscape photography, a free hair dye at the stylist, etc) that show her I know her and what she'd like. My father is a physical touch person. So, I also make sure to hug him often. I have a special person in my life who likes acts of service, so I leave notes and offer to do things for her. Another special person in my life is words of affirmation, so I'm cognizant of that and use my words to build her up and tell her she's amazing (and it's true because she is!). Luckily, my husband and I are both quality time, so we make an effort to spend as much time as possible together. We don't always have to be engrossed in deep conversation, but we want to be together. 

Quality Time with my most wonderful hubs!

Not everyone is as lucky as we are to have a spouse with the same love language. Often times, significant others have differing love languages, and that makes it difficult to meet the needs of the other person. But, one easy way to tell what your person's love language is: watch them. Whatever they're trying to show you is mostly likely their own love language, and they're hoping you'll do it back to them. So, if your lady is always cleaning up for you or making you special meals, she's probably an acts of service person. Try doing that for her instead. Or if your fella is always complimenting you and talking about how awesome you are, he's probably a words of affirmation person. Try doing that for him instead. 

The Dream Team

We're all friends, but we all have different love languages and different specific needs.

So, this Valentine's Day, instead of joining the rat race with cards, flowers, candy, jewelry, and stuffed animals, try speaking to your significant other's love language. Here are some ideas:

1) Acts of Service-- Pick a chore or activity you know your person doesn't like to do, and do it for him/her. Cook their favorite meal for dinner. Call your person and tell them you'll take care of a particular errand they've been meaning to run. 

2) Word of Affirmation--Leave a love note on the bathroom mirror or by the coffee pot. Write up a list of all the things you love about your significant other. Tell your person thank you for the things they do for you or your family that you really appreciate. 

3) Quality Time--Turn off all electronic devices and just sit and talk to your person. Go for a walk or to get coffee. Lie in bed, face-to-face, and chat. 

4) Gifts--Make this person something that will be meaningful. Or, if you must go out and spend money on something, make it personalized. Think back to a time when your person said, "Hey, that's a beautiful quilt," and go get that instead of the stock flowers, jewelry, and candy. Let that person know this gift is only for them and couldn't be for anyone else. Let's say you bought flowers and candy for every girlfriend of boyfriend you ever had, what makes this person special? The people are interchangeable because the gifts are the same. Make sure this person knows he/she is not interchangeable. 

5) Physical Touch--Spend time wrapped up in each other's arms. Sit close together, holding hands while you watch a movie together. Give the person a massage. 

And I encourage you to do these things for your partner long after the Valentine's Day decor fades from the stores. Do it while the Easter stuff is out, the July 4th flags fly, the Halloween pumpkins decorate the porches, the turkeys of Thanksgivings roast, and the tinsel of Christmas drapes on evergreens. Every day. 

Show your person how much you love them every day.

I'm blessed beyond measure to be Deek's wife. He knows my love language is quality time, and he gives me that in spades. But he always takes little snippets of the other love languages and showers me with those too: brings me tea (acts of services), massages my sore shoulder (physical touch), tells me I'm beautiful (words of affirmation), surprises me with a cup of coffee from Starbucks (gifts). When we were dating, I kept asking him if this wonderful relationship we shared would fade in marriage, and he told me he'd work to make sure it never did. He promised to always date me and always put the effort into keeping us close. And he has. 

Special delivery!

Your person is your person for a reason. Take a long look at them and remember why you fell in love. Remember how it felt to be close. And make it happen again. Put in the time and the effort to keep your relationship strong. Friends, parents, children, and family will come and go, but this person is your person for life.

To Deek: Thank you for being you--the most wonderful man, husband, and partner ever! I dreamed of a life like ours, but the reality is a bazillon times better. I love you #always! Your e

Welcome Gus Rhew!

Forever, people have been asking me and Deek when we will have a baby. Well, the answer to that is "we won't," but we did something neither of us expected to do. We rescued a puppy! Both Deek and I consider ourselves cat people, but somehow, this little dog wiggled his way into our hearts.

Meet Gus Rhew:

Deek and I have been talking about getting a dog for about a month, and we recently discovered a great local rescue. So, we decided to fill out the paperwork on Friday, and we expected the process to take about a week. To our surprise, they called us later that morning and said they'd love for us to come out and take a look at their available dogs...THAT day. We had plans to go to the local tree lighting ceremony but decided to forgo it to go meet our potential pup.

Don't worry, we still went to see the tree. ;) 

Now, we had very specific requirements. We wanted a small, portable dog because we plan on taking him with us a lot. We wanted one who could deal with our active life but also switch gears and enjoy chillin' when we had our relax days. And we also wanted an older dog, one we didn't really have to train. Personally, I wanted a fluffy girl dog, but I was willing to bend on that for the sake of personality.

When we arrived, they showed us the dog they thought would match our specifications--Alana. She'd recently given birth to a litter of ADORBS puppies. Her foster mom said over and over how much she was the "perfect" dog. But she just didn't jive for us. Something didn't connect. 

Alana

The moment we arrived, Deek's attention had been snagged by a little bitty pup named Gus. Deek pointed out how incredibly cute and sweet Gus was, but we felt like we needed to give Alana our full attention. After about a half an hour, we still didn't feel connected to Alana, and we decided not to take her. While I was over talking to a "dog matchmaker" about that, Deek pulled Gus out of his pen. When I came back, I found a five pound bundle of adorable all snuggled up in Deek's arms. 

My heart squeezes at how incredibly cute he is!

Gus didn't fit several items on our criteria. He was not fluffy, he was a boy, and he was only six months old. But he had the personality. He's totally zen and laid back like Deek. I mean, he can get playful and fun (also like Deek), but his main personality type is chill. We fell in love with him right away--even though he'd never lived in someone's home, walked on a leash, or been crate trained/housebroken. His little heart spoke to ours, and we knew we'd found our dog. 

As we went through the adoption process, several employees and volunteers stopped by to say goodbye to Gus. They talked about how sweet he is and how incredibly smart. They said they were glad such an awesome boy had found his fur-ever home.

We brought out precious baby home, and he's fitting right into our lives. He's exactly what we asked for--social and outgoing when we are and relaxed when we are. He rolls with life like a champ. Even though he'd never walked on a leash before, he prances along beside us as proud as punch. And he fell into a schedule right away. We couldn't be happier with our choice! 

Dobby ears!

Now, his "real" name isn't Gus anymore. We changed it when we left the shelter. But we've decided to give him a pen name like us, so we'll refer to him as Gus Rhew from now on. :) It's an homage to the shelter who saved his life.

I know many of you are wondering...how is Trinity dealing with the arrival of baby Gus? Well, this pic is from three years ago, but it pretty much captures her expression when he bounded through the door.

Trinna's "WUT?" look

She's the most flexible cat in the world--hence how we've traveled with her across the country...twice--so she's rolling with Gus' arrival. I think it helps that she outweighs him by double. It allows her to lord over him like the queen bee that she is. LOL!

And though we missed the tree lighting, we stopped by to see the tree later, with our new buddy.

Here we are with Gus in front of the tree. 

Is he not the cutest little thing in his sweater? It was COLD!

Gorgeous!

THIS is happiness right here, folks. 

I adore this man beyond words!

So, in addition to our literary cat, we now have a literary dog! Stay tuned for more pics and videos of both Trinity and Gus in the future! Until next time...

Leaving the Rat Race

I've been thinking lately that our lifestyle must really make some people scratch their heads. At our age, we're supposed to be chasing the next big thing--a bigger house, flashier cars, more stuff, all the "things" people are "supposed" to want. But Deek and I have gone in the opposite direction. We've gotten out of the rat race. And I'm sure people wonder, "Can they really be happy?"

Well, here's the honest to goodness truth: yes.

Deek and me exploring our town

What a complete and total relief to not reach for the next thing. What a joy to just BE present in this moment, to be thankful for what we have and enjoy the freedom our life provides.

I honestly wasn't sure how I'd feel about living in an apartment. We went from owning a home to renting a home to renting a town home to now renting an apartment. (Side note: We LOVE renting. I know it doesn't have tax benefits, yada yada, but there's freedom. If there's a problem, someone else fixes it and pays for it. We just have to arrange the time for the workmen to come.) But I've found I really like apartment life. I'm an extrovert, so I don't mind the noises from upstairs or the throngs of other people who live here. Our neighbors are super great in that they're quiet, polite, and respectful.

I also adore the amenities we have here: a saltwater pool, free Starbucks 24/7, a state-of-the-art gym, free breakfast on Tuesday mornings, walking trails all over the place, and we're within walking distance of Trader Joe's (which may or may not be a good thing for the wallet--LOL). Also, the complex is super cool about letting you personalize. We're allowed to paint the apartment and screen in the porch. Deek screened in our porch last weekend, and I've literally been out there every day to sit, drink coffee, and enjoy the sounds of summer.

Coffee and reading poolside!

Views from the screened in porch

Oh look, I'm there...again!

Deek and I still have one car and don't have plans to get another one anytime soon. I get up early and take him to work and then pick him up in the evenings. It affords us extra time together (not that the commute is long--we picked this apartment specifically because it's super close to his work), and he's close enough that we can go for a walk or have lunch together most days.

Look what we saw on our latest walk around the lake at his work!

When we moved, we could only take what we could fit in a small 6x12 UHaul trailer. It sounds big, but when you put stuff in it, it's not. So, we sold or gave away a whole lot of our possessions. And you know what? We don't miss those items. Instead, it's freeing. When we got the apartment, we only bought a few items, but overall, we have a very small amount of "things." And I love it. The apartment looks spacious, it's a cinch to clean, and we aren't inundated with junk.

Of course, we had to keep our favorite works of literature! ;) 

My dad is a realtor, and he said the trend of late is to scale back. Renting is becoming as popular (and in some areas, more popular) than buying. More and more people are getting out of the rat race. They're seeing the benefit in stepping back and living a simpler life. 

If Deek and I elect to buy a house, it will only be as an investment for our future vagabond lifestyle plans. But we both dread the thought. If we get a house, we'll actually have to start making our own coffee again (the horror)! LOL! But seriously, it's amazing to be able to spend our time and money on things we want to instead of things we have to. 

This weekend, we had a lazy weekend (I think we're still exhausted from the move/living in a hotel/job hunting because we STILL haven't felt like adventuring). Deek said, "If we had a house, we might be doing yard work right now, but instead, we're writing and taking selfies with our unamused cat. I love this life!"

Bless Trinna's heart. She puts up with all her humans' antics!

Lazy day hair

I love this life too. I mean, I epically love it. 

And best of all, I get to spend all this free time with my best friend/husband/love/soulmate, Deek! I always have the best time with him! We talk about nothing and everything and laugh... a lot. I'm happier than I ever dreamed I could be. It's all about people, not stuff. That's where the real life is. 

<swoon>

They have pedestrian bridges in the South. How very Portland!

Found some interesting art on one of our walks

Trinna baby loves the relaxed lifestyle too! ;)

So, today, stop what you're frantically doing and take a look at the people in your life. Kiss your significant other and ask him/her how the day went. Spend time reading to your children. Call your mom and/or dad. Be sure to take time every day to show the people in your life just how much they mean to you. The rat race can wait. Relationships can't. 

Until next time, love and laugh out loud! <3