The Fulfillment Series

The Fulfillment Series

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Let's Talk About...It

This month is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Recently, the #MeToo movement has taken off and shown just how prevalent sexual assault and abuse is. Women (and some men), from around the country, around the world, and from all walks of life shared their personal stories about sexual assault and abuse. Since I'm a young adult author, I wanted to speak about the topic of sex, which some people label taboo, especially in the YA world. But let's be real. You think about it. You talk about it. Some of you even do it. How's that for getting to the heart of it? ;)




First of all, no one, no one has the right to touch your body without your permission. That may seem obvious, but abusers and assaulters have a way of victim shaming and gaslighting to the point where victims can't differentiate between truth and the abuser's lies. NO ONE touches your body without your permission. Period. End of sentence. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.



If you are having sex, know this: Even if you've said "yes" before, you can always say "no." Hear that boys and girls? A former "yes" is not an always "yes." In dating relationships, in engagements, and yes, even in marriage, sex is not and should not be a given. You can say "no" for any reason. You're a person with thoughts, feelings, and desires, and if you don't want to, you don't have to. Sometimes you do want to, and sometimes you don't. Either one is absolutely, positively fine. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different.




A lot of religions tell women that if their husbands want it, the wife should provide it. I grew up in churches that preached that, and here's what I have to say to that mentality...No. No. No. No. Women were not put on this earth to be at the beck and call of men. We are fully realized people, and we should be treated as such.



If you're having sex, and your partner makes you feel bad for electing not to engage in sex one night or several nights or however long, you don't need to be with that person. If your partner shames you, forces you, manipulates you, claims "it's how he feels love so you have to do it," get out. GET OUT! Run as fast and as hard as you can in the other direction. To those people, sex is about power, so run like hell.



We've talked a lot about what sex isn't, but what is it then? It's about love, respect, mutual pleasure, and mutual consent. I'm not talking about "mutual consent," where one person pressures the other into it and calls it consent. I'm talking about two people choosing to share their bodies with one another. And let me tell you, with the right person, it's transformative, transcendental. You should walk away from sex feeling like a million bucks. You should never feel dirty, used, or injured.



Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like the movies. There will be times when you bump teeth or get tangled in a sheet awkwardly or have a foot cramp. Sometimes it will be fast and passionate, sometimes slow and tender. But it should always be a choice. And when you've freely made the choice and joined mind, heart, and body with the right person, it's more magical than mere words could ever express.


via GIPHY

Remember, YOU have a voice. YOU have a say. YOU don't have to do anything you don't want to when it comes to sex. Never, never, never.


via GIPHY

Until next time, be smart, be safe, and be fierce...

Thursday, April 12, 2018

It's a Sci-Fi Life For Us

Greetings, Earthlings. Yeah, I think I've had my head in sci-fi for way too long. LOL! I've got my sci-fi, The Transhuman Project, out in on submission to agents, and I just finished edits on Deek's sci-fi, The Extractor. Y'all, my man is brilliant. This book is so interesting and complex that it left me thinking and pondering for days and days. Heck, I'm STILL thinking about it.

The Extractor, virtual reality gone amuck...

My next editing project, with a brand new client, is fantasy, so I'll be taking a little break from sci-fi, but I love both genres SO much!

We are so nerdy, and we love it!

In other news and randomness:


Y'all, it's April. And this girl is Southern. So this still cold, still snowing business in April "ain't going to work for me," as my Mema would say. No, sir. No way. No how. Bring me 80 degree weather and the sun so bright and intense you feel like it'll eat your skin off. That's what I'm talking about. Not this crazy, cold mess. Boo, winter. You've WAY overstayed your welcome (and for me, you're not even welcome, really). 

Gus is all of us on a cold spring morning.

The winter/spring hybrid

But sometimes Snapchat makes you look like a 40s starlet, so you forget about this weird winter/spring hybrid for a minute. ;) 

And sometimes you find a "Peach Pit" shirt at the thrift store, in the $1 section, and you wonder how anyone can give up such a treasure. Their loss is my gain...after I washed it, of course! ;) 

Despite the cool weather, Deek and I still love to go for a long stroll, and sometimes we allow coffee to come along for the ride.

I adore this man more than words can express!

<3 <3

This past weekend, we had an afternoon date, and Deek surprised me by taking me somewhere completely new and exotic. I love how he's so adventurous and willing to try new things!

Exploring

Wow, fruit can be gorgeous and slightly terrifying.

Look how huge this jackfruit is!

And Deek's contribution to the picture. ROFL!

And we celebrated our engagement-iversary. 
Deek and I love to celebrate every moment we can! <3
Here's our first kiss as an engaged couple! 


Until next time, explore, adventure, and have a blast doing it!