Changes

There's the old saying, "The only thing that never changes is that everything changes." Well, that's true. Another one I like is, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Last year, a lot of things changed--my dad had bypass surgery, my beloved PaPa died, we bought a house and moved, friends and family from the PNW came to stay with us, and my biological father died. It was a mixed bag of good and bad. More bad than good, so I was happy to see 2017 go. Buh-bye.

Some days life feel like this...

And this year is starting out with changes too. BookFish Books, the small press I've worked for since 2013, is closing its doors. It's a bittersweet thing for me. On the one hand, I'm sad for the authors, sad the business wasn't able to stand the test of time, sad because these beautiful books won't be in the world, at least temporarily (I hope some of the authors will sign with other presses or self-pub). And on the other hand, it gives me more time to focus on my writing, build my editing business, and work with new authors at Tenacious Books Publishing.

But still, it's hard to say goodbye. Some of the BookFish people are like family to me. Thankfully we live in a digital world where everyone is just a text or email away. And yet...it'll never be the same.

In general, I would say I roll with change quite well (except for the season changes because I abhor winter), so I consider myself pretty adaptable. But I still haven't accepted PaPa's loss, and I'm still puzzling out the situation with my biological father's death. Deek always says I'm a deep thinker with a huge brain. While I suppose that's good in a lot of ways, it can make letting go of deeply important things that much harder.

His BabyDoll forever...

At the same time, change reminds us to be thankful for the times we had and the things that are the same. I'll always have my memories of PaPa, and I'll be his BabyDoll for the rest of my days. I'll always be proud of the BookFish team and the amazing books we unleashed upon the world. Some of these things may fade in my mind over time, but the imprint they leave on my heart will last forever. 

So as things go away, I'm focusing on what's still here. While Deek and I will grow and changes as people and as a couple, we'll stand the test of time. That knowledge brings me great comfort in these moments when changes overwhelm me. I glance at my husband, and a peace comes over me. He's my rock, my happy place, my calm in the storm. When my heart aches over PaPa, or when ponder life because of what happened to my biological father, or when I choke up working on the final paperwork for BookFish, Deek is there. He's there to hold me when I cry, discuss my many random and varying theories, and tell me everything is going to work out fine. He's full of life, joy, passion, and humor. I adore that about him!

This man, y'all! This man makes my world so bright!!

In times of change or uncertainty, grab on to what is real, loving, and tangible. Remember the good times from the past, but step boldly into your future.

Erin and Deek forever!

Tenacious Books Publishing

Molly and Ryder, my YA sci-fi novel

So This Is Christmas...

Hey y'all!! Deek and I have been crazy busy, so the blog is a little lacking. I got a last minute, end-of-the-year editing project, and I'm been heads down focusing on that amidst the normal Christmas fray. Meanwhile, Deek has bee busy editing my still nameless Molly and Ryder story!

But I'm happy to report that we are completely done with our Christmas shopping (and came in *under* budget--YAY Dave Ramsey)! So, now we can relax and enjoy the holiday festivities until the Big Day arrives.

We went on a holiday lights tour and had a blast!

This will be my first Christmas without PaPa, and I must admit, I'm having trouble getting into the jolliness of the season. See, not only is PaPa gone but things are changing because of it. Our annual family Christmas Day gathering will be no more. Thanksgiving and Easter will be at someone else's house, if they continue at all. All these traditions which so defined my childhood, my life, are slipping away. I've always partially defined myself by the big ole, loving Southern family I come from. Without spending time with them at every holiday, a big part of me is changing, forever altered. I know I'll still see them, but it will be different. I'm usually one who can roll with change pretty well, but I'm having trouble adjusting to this particular one.

Add about a hundred more people, and that's my family...

I hope and pray that the generation before me (my mom's generation) will keep the family gatherings and traditions alive. I'm thankful to my Aunt Tammy and my I-don't-even-know-what-level cousin Marion for offering their homes to ensure the family celebrates Christmas Eve together as we always have. They're stepping up, and I'm beyond grateful that not everything died alongside PaPa. He would be proud of his baby girl for keeping the family together at Christmas. So, a big PaPa thumbs-up to Tammy! <3

Isn't my aunt purty? And my PaPa...oh my PaPa...

Deek and I set aside a budget for Christmas adventures, and we've been enjoying that random sprinkling of fun inside the holiday bustle. We've been keeping up regular traditions and adding news ones as we find them. This is wonderful time of year for traditions, and we're big on that! :)

We miss Portland, so we're trying to get a downtown experience in the South.

It's so not the same, but it'll do for now.

Deek and I got coffee and had a walking Christmas lights date!

Got to sit on the Big Man's lap and make my Christmas wish.

I asked him to keep my whole big family together for the holidays, and he said he'd do his best!

Thanks, Santa!

My hubster surprised me with a lunch date.

I LOVE spending time with this amazing man, y'all!

And we've been checking out Christmas lights at all the local "best spots."

We saw some that have been featured on TV!

Even Shakespeare got in on the lights action!

I don't know if I'll post again before Christmas, or even the week after Christmas since Deek has the whole week off (SQUEE), but I wish you and yours the happiest of holidays!! If you lost someone precious this year, I feel your pain and sorrow. I really and truly do. But gather those you still have into your arms and squeeze them extra tight. Because when you strip away the tinsel, lights, and gifts, Christmas is about family and love. So love on that family of yours with all your might.

And I'll be over here loving on mine. My parents, my Mema, my immediate family, my big ole extended family, and my beloved, beloved Deek! Despite the pain of losing PaPa, I know I'm epically blessed to have my family and Deek's family so full and present in our lives. And that joy will glow inside me--past the pain, past the hustle and bustle--forever!

This man, y'all. This amazing, astounding, out-of-this-world man!

No matter what's going on, we always find a way to laugh.

I love you, my Deek. Now and #always!

Until next time...Happiest of Holidays from our family to yours! 

Writerly Rhews

In the crazy hubbub of life, sometimes writing time gets wonky. Deek and I have been going, going, going of late, and our writing has suffered. I've been working on Molly and Ryder...well...for a long time. But for this iteration of their story, I started a year ago. WUT? Apparently. Eep!

And I'd only gotten to about 25,000 words. To be fair, I opened my freelance editing and design business, started working for another small press, and maintained all my BookFish duties. So, as much as my characters have been clawing to get out of my brain, they've been rather stuck.

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But I got a little free time this week after I wrapped up a bunch of big projects, and guess what? 

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I DOUBLED by word count in just a few days. The ideas, which had been start/stop and piecemeal, just started flowing. And flowing. And flowing. I'm almost done with the rough draft of this story that's dogged me for a long time. AND, it's *finally* right. I've written and rewritten it, and it's never been quite there. But now it is. How did that happen?!?

Anyway, this is how I feel about all that...

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Meanwhile, Deek is working through the first round of I-finished-my-rough-draft edits on The Extractor. We pitched the idea to some folks at Cape Fear Comic Con, and he got a *huge* amount of interest. So, he's pushing hard to get his first round of self-editing done quickly so he can do his second round of self-edits, get it me, then send it to Anya, and then start submitting to agents!!

I am SO proud of my hubby! This story is unique, and his writer voice is unlike any I've ever read. That's a pretty stellar combination!

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For those waiting to hear news on Restore To Me, my historical fiction, you can wait impatiently with me. LOL! Nothing moves quickly in the writing world, but I've got some agent and publisher interest. So...we wait.

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In non-writer related news, please keep my MeMa in your thoughts and prayers. Today would have been her 63rd wedding anniversary with PaPa. It's also the first PaPa-less first, one of many we'll experience as we navigate the first year of this strange world without him.

As much as I miss him, I know she misses him exponentially more. Smile down bright on your lovely bride today, PaPa. We miss you and love you always!

Their 50th Wedding Anniversary

In world news, Deek and I got to witness the eclipse. I know I've seen one before in my lifetime (I've had to, right?). I even remember making one of the pinhole boxes in school, but I can't remember actually seeing the eclipse. So, this time Deek and I made sure we did! It was AMAZING!

I played Juliet in high school and performed her again in college--AND I voluntarily took a ridonk amount of Shakespeare classes in college--so naturally some lines from the great bard's Romeo and Juliet popped into my head...

"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, 

Who is already sick and pale with grief, 

That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she. 

Be not her maid, since she is envious; 

Her vestal livery is but sick and green 

And none but fools do wear it; cast it off."

There is a Shakespeare line for almost any moment. ;) 

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Until next time, read, write, and live out loud!!

Getting Into The Swing of Things Again

So, we moved, and we're working on establishing our "new normal." But I've struggled to find my creative inspiration. See, it's funny because I'm a total pantser when it comes to writing but a planner when it comes to life. Hence, I've been organizing our budget and our house, scheduling visits with friends and family, etc. All that spinning on non-creative things pushed my creativity back into a little box where it sat patiently waiting.

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But...over the last week, I've been having snippets of storyline push through the scheduling. My characters--Molly and Ryder, whose story I've written and re-written a few times now--have become insistent that their story be told. There were always kinks in the tale that didn't quite work for me (hence the writing and re-writing), so Deek and I went on a long walk to discuss it. And, of course, we had queso, the mind-blowing cheese dip we could never get in the Pacific Northwest. Lo and behold, as the cheese imbibed our tastebuds, our minds came alive, and we create solutions to the plot holes. So my creativity has gone from Alice in the pic above to this...

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With a little bit of coffee...

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I'm ready to rock and roll. Prepare to see Molly and Ryder and join them in their epic futuristic thriller adventure soon! My critique partners are doing a happy dance, I think, because most of them have a little crush on Ryder. LOL!

Ok, let's talk Olympics. Man, have those been amazing or what? And PS, the commercials during it are better than the ones for the Superbowl. How did that happen? 

I love sitting on the couch with Deek every night and cheering on Team USA in the competitions. I may get a little...

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when exciting things happen, like Simone Manuel and Penny Oleksiak tying for the gold medal. I love the passion, excitement, dedication, and determination of the Olympic athletes!

In Deek and Erin news: We're still in chill mode after so much time on the road and in hotels. We haven't been bitten by the adventure bug quite yet, but I'm sure it's coming. 

And can I just say...I really LOVE our new place. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about living in an apartment after so many years in homes and townhomes, but I truly love it! Whenever I walk through the door, I get all giddy and happy feeling on the inside.

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I'm also very thankful to get to spend a lot of time with my family and friends. I missed them all so much when we lived in the Pacific Northwest, and I think it's made me even that much more grateful to have the time with them now. 

My friend Kathie and I may have been goofing off at the mall...

And we're meeting new friends too. Last night, Deek and I hung out with some of his work buddies after work and had a great time! I really love hanging out with other people with my husband. He's so friendly, funny, and charming, and it makes me incredibly proud to be there with him. 

Deek and I -- being silly while watching the Olympics, after a fun night out with friends

All in all, things are really coming together--creativity, the house, friends, family, life. It was a long journey from the Pacific Northwest to the South, but we're really starting to settle in now. I am excited to see what the future holds for Deek and me, and I'm stoked to tell Molly and Ryder's story. 

I thank my lucky stars each and every day that I have such a wonderful partner to enjoy this ride with! I love you, my Deek! #Always