Wow, is it Wednesday already? The time is drawing near for our BIG day! Woot!! I hope my cold jumps ship soon because I want to be in tip-top shape for the wedding. I guess that's always a risk with fall/winter weddings, huh? It IS sniffles season...
Yesterday, I talked about the loss (and return) of hope. If you missed it, you can check it out here. And Deek discussed the difficulties of being in a long distance relationship here (complete with amusing pictures). I'm kinda running on this theme of lost and regained hope, apparently, because I want to expound upon it again today as I explain my song choice.
To finally get to this place of happiness and love, Deek and I had to travel long, hard roads. We both got our hearts broken in epic ways, in ways people should not have to have their hearts broken. In our cores, I'd say we are both pretty positive, upbeat, happy people. But our past experiences had left us scarred, cynical, and weary. Deek's future plans involved backpacking around Europe, wandering aimless and alone for the rest of his days. Mine included becoming a cat lady, holed up in some creepy house surrounded by little tubs of purring love. If you know us, you know neither of those scenarios fit our personalities whatsoever. But that's where pain led us--to lives of solitude. When you get so beaten down, it's hard to see the non-train light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard to imagine a place of happiness.
But then we met. Friendship blossomed into something more. Suddenly, Deek no longer wanted to backpack around Europe, at least not alone. And my visions of being the cat lady vanished. We saw a future together.
Our past troubles left us cautious though. We studied one another at length, talked until we were blue in the face about our expectations and what we could and could not accept. We started our own hashtag for one another called #JustSosYaKnowWhatYaGot where we would reveal embarrassing, annoying, and weird details about ourselves. The last thing we wanted was to be bad-surprised as we had been bad-surprised in the past.
Even though we took these precautions to protect our mending hearts, something inside each of us knew what we had was special. We trusted one another even though we had no empirical reason to do so. Something about us together felt right. We liken it to puzzle pieces. All those years before, we had tried to smash puzzle pieces together that didn't quite fit. But with each other, we didn't have to do the stand-on-your-head-with-your-tongue-out-while-whistling-a-tune-and-balancing-a-plate-on-your-nose dance to get the pieces to fit together. They just did.
And we realized all the pain, all the heartache, all the tears had led us to one another. If I had met Deek when I was younger, I don't think I would have fully appreciated his loving, selfless ways. But having my past to draw upon, I will always appreciate it, and I aim to make sure he knows daily how much I do.
So, I think what I've learned from all this (because life is all about learning) is that sometimes the bad things in life are simply preparing you to recognize and appreciate the good when it comes along. I'd probably heard that before, but now I KNOW it.
If you're in the middle of tough times, don't give up. Don't surrender to the pain and sadness. There IS a non-train light at the end of your tunnel. And when you step out into the sunlight awaiting you, you'll be able to look back at that long, dark tunnel and appreciate the warmth of the sun a whole lot more than you did before.
Today, my song choice for my beloved is Bless The Broken Road.
We went from sad and solitary to the playful and cray-zee we'd always been deep inside! ;)