The Fulfillment Series

The Fulfillment Series

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

What Is Love? Baby, Don't Hurt Me

Hello everyone! Hope you're having a good week so far! Before I get into the meat of my blog post, I have to put up some fun pics from my weekend with Deek!

We went to a chili cookoff, and the food was delicious!! This Southern girl LOVES some cornbread, so my day was made when I saw that among the samples!

Then we went to the outlet malls, and I tried on different hats for the fun of it. I love hats! 

The next day, I won the grand prize at our town's festival, so I took my man out for a free lunch date! Free somehow tastes even better! While we were having fun taking selfies to pass the time waiting for our food, we ended up taking what may be one of my most favorite pictures of us! 


AND apparently I've been under a rock because my friend Kristen--the lovely blogger at Pretty Little Pages--created an adorable meme for The Prophecy!!

Now, on to the crux of this post!! I was talking to a friend over the weekend about lasting love. I carried the conversation over to Deek as well. Because Deek and I are ponderers, we spent a good part of the day walking around town, hand-in-hand, and discussing this topic. We have a consensus that effort must be made by both parties. Neither party can check out emotionally and leave the other person holding the bag. But effort can't be the only ingredient. There's selflessness and fidelity. Agreement on core values. Making time for one another. Making the other person a priority.

But what happens when one person doesn't put in effort or acts selfishly to continually injure the other? How can the second person save the relationship if the first isn't willing? At what point is enough enough? When has a relationship passed the point of salvation, and when is it still redeemable?

We'd love to hear your thoughts! Add to our conversation. What elements must a long-term romantic relationship have to make it from the first day until forever?


  1. I love this blog post, Erin. Currently I'm sitting here looking at no less that 1/2 dozen pictures of us hanging on the walls and gracing the tables, and that's just in this one room. This is a symbol of us, a representation of what we mean to each other. Part of what made "us" possible is that we are willing to put "us" first--we both value each other and want to give to the other. It has taken a very long time for me to get used to someone that cares and puts out the effort, but I love it. I've waited my whole life for a two way street. I've waited my whole life...for you. I love you with all my heart and hope that I can return even a fraction of what you give me.

    1. Oh, love! I have never felt as valued, as cherished, and as unconditionally loved as you make me feel. You are THE most giving man I've ever encountered. The Percy Jackson lover that I am, you always say you'd walk through the rivers of Hades for me, and I believe you would. I know you are that committed and that willing to put the effort in to us--now and through all our years together. I've waited my whole life for you. I dreamed of a man like you but never thought I'd find one. And then you came into my life, and my dreams manifested right before my very eyes! I love you with all that I am, and I'll try to keep up with your awesomeness!

  2. You two are seriously adorable. And this is a really good post. Something to think about for all couples! I'm definitely not an expert, and I'll admit to days where I just want to get through things without killing the hubs, but I something that's become more and more apparent to me is being comfortable with one's self first. Being able to have that confidence first and foremost allows for both people to bring their healthiest selves to a relationship. Expecting to find self worth and love in someone else just breeds contempt and trouble. So, really, I think one of the important things to remember is bringing your best self to a relationship--a healthy and whole person who isn't looking to be fixed or fix the other. (This is a personal pet peeve of mine in books--hello, no, I do not want some damaged guy who will need serious help to be a normal human being! lol!)

    1. Girl, YES, YES, YES!!!! We are in total agreement with you. The message we spread is "know thyself."

      Funny story: When Deek and I met, we both had lists--the "deal breaker" list. We went down the list: "I won't do this," "I don't tolerate that," "I need this," etc. Lo and behold, they matched. But without knowing ourselves, we wouldn't have been able to do that, to stand up for what we need and to set boundaries for what we won't tolerate. I think all couples should do that. It's not "romantic," but it's so important.

      Excellent, excellent addition to the conversation, Meradeth!! Thank you!

    2. Oh Meradeth, you're speaking my language doll.

      I was with the love of my life for 6+ years, only ending things because I wanted to get married* and he didn't. After the breakup, I was a psycho-man-hunter, looking for anything and anyone to be a companion. I was terrified to be alone, and so I was avoiding dealing with my own problems by being with someone else (this is a theme that I use in one of my WIPs which is really hard to write). It wasn't until I got my heart truly broken - again - that I finally faced my fears and realized that I needed to spend some time with myself.

      Fast forward to almost 6 months later, and I realize that *I only wanted to get married because it was the thing to do, and not because it's something I wanted. Not only that, but doing the "things to do" extended to almost every aspect of my life - my job, my life, everything.

      Now, I'm quitting my job, going all-in with publishing, and to be honest, I'm not actually interested in sharing my life with anyone at the moment. I am being supremely selfish for the first time in my life, and I couldn't be happier.

      My hope is that when I'm ready to let someone else in my life, I'll be able to find someone as awesome as y'alls hubs.